Dying Breath, Lively Regrets
by animationgirlKIA
Summary: In her last moments, she never told him how she felt. Recalling those fond memories, she should've had. However, even if she did, the result will always be the same. One-sided Sheele/Bulat. SPOILERS.
1. Reminisces, Part 1

**Warning: death and incompatible orientation (if you're sensitive to that issue).**

Okay, before anyone gets confused or throws a fit, I need to repeat this: _this is an **unrequited** love fanfic; meaning that this is one-sided relationship that is **clearly** not portrayed in a reciprocal manner. _ Because let's be honest: the chances of a gay man reciprocating a woman's feelings are as likely as Halley's Comet traveling through Earth (which is pretty damn long).

Another note: _Akame ga Kill!_ is not my top favorite show. I just began watching it on Toonami out of curiosity, and I realized that this show has a lot of problems, _especially_ with the characterization: Tatsumi is practically a wish-fulfillment character. A majority of characters have expressed attraction to him (Bulat included, just to prove that Tatsumi is lust magnet for both sexes), and the guy doesn't even do much in order to get their attention at all!

Not only that, but a lot of focus on character relationships often revolve around Tatsumi, and not enough time is spent on other interactions that don't involve him. So it makes me disappointed that Bulat and Sheele, probably the only characters that I've come to like, not only died so early but also spent a majority of their time around our cliche shonen hero, not on other members. Okay, [Sheele & Mine] is an exception, but Bulat's relationships with other Night Raid members was practically unexplored.

Besides, I would have **_loved_** to see Bulat's thoughts and feelings towards the rest of Night Raid. For instance, does he greatly respect Akame for her skills as a fighter? Does he ever confide in Leone about personal troubles? Has he ever hit on Lubbock before Tatsumi came along? We will never know, because he is dead. And hogged around Tatsumi ( _TATSUMI'S NOT INTERESTED._ TAKE A HINT PAL, AND GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE).

A (guilty) reason why I wrote this fanfic was because upon watching the second episode, I found Bulat to be attractive. Even though I knew that he was gay. _Oh god_ , blame me for watching _Jojo's Bizarre Adventure_ and developing an appreciation for muscle-bound bodies as a result. And I paired Bulat with Sheele because... they died within two episodes of each other? Then there's him getting incredibly pissed over her demise... maybe if Bulat was bisexual, I could see them working out together? I don't know. *shrugs*

Anyways, here is my fanfic about this one-sided crack ship, and I hope you enjoy it! _(Last note: the first memory is based off a quick scene from EP 6; plus, it takes place before Tatsumi comes along.)_

Akame Ga Kill (c) Takahiro & Tetsuya Tashiro

Fanfiction (c) Me

* * *

This is it. This is how she goes. A bullet through her back and a berserk Imperial Arms biting her in half. With this gruesome fate blinded by the shining light of Extase, at least Sheele will not go down so senselessly.

However, the violet-haired woman feels sorrow in her glowing amethyst eyes, for she never got the chance to tell how she felt toward her beloved comrades of Night Raid - the place where she had always belonged.

 _I loved all of you, it was so much fun..._

Especially towards _him._

The Hundred Man Slayer.

The tall, dark, handsome, strong, passionate, and kind Hundred Man Slayer.

 _Oh, how fun were you around..._

Picturing the incredible man, the dying woman gives a faint smile. In her last moments, various memories flow back to her head.

She will never forget the times she and the man had spent together. From letting her assist him in an intense workout to brighten her day by making her laugh with his radiant smile and flashy mannerisms, the man held a special place in Sheele's heart.

To the very end, Sheele will always cherish those fond memories she had with the man.

And yet...

* * *

"... One hundred seventy-seven, one hundred seventy-eight..."

In the practice field, Bulat was training all by himself. He was on the ground, lifting his burly physique with his strong arms. Counting the number of times he would push himself up, Bulat had no intention of stopping: he planned on doing this exercise until he had reached three hundred. Although no ordinary human would accomplish such an impossible feat, Bulat's sheer strength and endurance pushed himself beyond human limits. It didn't matter whether he was sweating uncontrollably or his muscles were on the point of fatigue, the pompadoured man wasn't willing to give up so easily.

In the midst of the hard workout, he heard a soft-spoken voice.

"Bulat?"

The man momentarily diverted his attention from the exercise and quickly glanced at the source. What laid upon him was a slender, bespectacled woman who was holding a book; a woman with purple hair, purple eyes, and a purple dress.

"Ah, Sheele," grunted Bulat. Even when she was there, he kept counting in his head. "How ya been?"

"I'm fine, thank you," answered Sheele. Her eyes observed the enthusiasm the man had as he was training. "You seem to be working hard as usual."

"Yeah, well, gotta stay in top physical shape after all!"

Sheele smiled at the keen response and nodded. "I see."

After the quick greeting, Bulat redirected his attention toward his training. Meanwhile, Sheele simply stood there and kept observing him. Watching the muscular man, the delicate woman couldn't help but be amazed at the way he lifts himself up so effortlessly. Although Sheele did occasionally forget that Bulat had military experience prior to joining Night Raid, she wondered how long it took for him to appear in his current state. Sheele never applied to the military, but she could think of two possible scenarios: either the Empire's military had an extremely vigorous training program, or Bulat had been training _way_ before he had ever joined it. Whatever the case, the end result was that Bulat could wipe out several opponents at once without breaking a sweat; to his enemies, this made him known as the _Hundred Man Slayer_.

But still, for Bulat gain such a fearsome reputation, there _had_ to be someone who helped him achieve such a title. Sheele wondered about it as well, and it kind of bothered her to be honest. Whenever she saw Bulat train, he was always by himself - not with Akame, not with Leone, not with _anyone_. Just himself.

Although Sheele could not understand _why_ , she did think of a possible reason: since Bulat was one of Night Raid's most powerful members, it made sense for him not to compete with the lesser powerful ones of the group. Each member was skilled in his or her own way; and in Bulat's case, brute force was his major component. Besides, if Bulat were to engage in hand-to-hand combat with smaller members such as Mine or Lubbock, he would be the victor by a landslide. No matter what kind of strengths the rest of the assassins had, Bulat's power was always above them. Even so, he's still a comrade, and it's important for comrades to work together, which means...

All of sudden, Sheele felt overwhelmed by the amount of fluttering butterflies in her stomach. A pink shade appeared on her face, corresponding to the shy woman's increasing nervousness. She knew what she had to say next, but was afraid of what the man's response would be; but keeping it all in won't do her any good, so she might as well suck it up and spit it out. In a subtle burst of confidence, Sheele reaffirmed her look at Bulat, held the book to her chest, and forced herself to say it in a clear voice. "Umm, Bulat..."

Hearing her voice again, Bulat halted the exercise and turned his face towards her. "Huh? What is it?"

Trying not to stutter, Sheele went at it. "D-Do you... do you, by any chance, um... need some assistance?"

No response.

Sheele kept going. "It's just that, well... maybe if I could be of some use to you, then maybe it might benefit your training even further..."

Still no response.

"And you always seem to be training by yourself, so I thought it might be a good idea to have someone accompany you while you're doing so..."

"..."

After a moment of silence, Bulat came up with an answer.

"Nope, I'm all good right now."

And here came Sheele's hopes crashing down.

"O-oh, okay..." Deep inside her, Sheele wanted to crawl into a corner, wrap her arms around her knees, and sulk pathetically. Regrettable thoughts flowed through her mind. What a silly thing of her to ask! Of course the Hundred Man Slayer didn't need help from anyone! He's probably so strong that he's confident enough to take care of himself just fine! Who needs help, let alone from his comrades, anywa-

"However..."

Bulat wasn't done talking, as Sheele jolted back from her downcast state.

"... you can help me with what I'm doing at the moment. I might not need it later on, but I definitely think that some support will come in handy."

What came off as a blunt rejection now transformed into a welcoming invitation. In that moment, the gloom in Sheele's face dissolved into a joyous smile, and her amethyst eyes shined brightly as ever. Words cannot describe of what was offered to her. This was an opportunity she shouldn't back down, even if her habitual clumsiness got in the way!

However, despite her enthusiasm, Sheele had no idea of what Bulat had in mind for her. "T-Thank you so much! I'll try to do my best, but um... just by _how_ , to be exact?"

"In order to excel this exercise, I need some sort of challenge," explained Bulat. "To push myself to the top, I need something to keep me down. By doing so, I can push myself even further, and come out stronger than ever. And that's where you come in. To put it bluntly, I need you to sit on me."

Sheele paid close attention to the request; but registering it, she couldn't help but flush a bit by its physical closeness. Granted, sitting on top of someone was hardly an intimate activity, but Sheele expected that she was going to be useful via a hands-off approach (like counting the number of push-ups for him or whatnot). She had to ask again just to be certain.

"So... you want me to sit on you?"

"Yes, that's what I want."

"And you don't mind about it all? Just to be sure?"

"Nope," replied Bulat, and readjusted himself so that his back was at a suitable seating position. "Go right ahead."

Fully assured (yet still a bit nervous), Sheele inched closer to Bulat. Her heart raced as she was observing his adjusted position, thinking of what she was about to do. Attempting to calm herself, Sheele took a deep breath and encouraged her mind through motivational words. _Well, if that's what he wants, then so be it,_ she thought. _All right, I can do this, I can do this..._

When Sheele was close enough, she dipped slightly to place her hand upon Bulat's back. _No reaction yet - good_ , she thought. Gradually, the bespectacled woman stooped down until she fully rested herself atop the burly man. To Sheele's relief, Bulat didn't budge nor was brought down by her weight, but she stood very still in order to wait for a response out of him.

After a few seconds, Bulat was more than ready to continue his training. "All right, let's do this!" he exclaimed. But after another few seconds, he realized that he had just lost count. "Uh... where did I stop again?"

"You were around two hundred and fifteen, I believe," replied Sheele. An airhead she may be, but at least the so-called klutz would remember details if the situation depended on it.

"Oh, right - thanks." With that tidbit in mind, Bulat proceeded to lift himself up - but with Sheele on top of him this time.

And as it turned out, the modified exercise did not deter the Hundred Man Slayer in any way. Just as before, he lifted himself with as much ease as he could - showing the purple-haired woman _how_ strong he really was. Impressed with his strength, as well as glad that she was useful to him, Sheele happily read her book as Bulat went away with it.

* * *

END of Chapter 1.


	2. Reminisces, Part 2

_Note: The 2nd and 3rd memories (latter for next chapter) are based off some scenes from EP 5._

* * *

 _Splash._

The sound of a bucket splattered through its surroundings, while the object itself landed on Sheele's head.

"Ooohhhh..."

Groaning wearily, the bespectacled woman cursed herself yet again due to her frequent clumsiness. It was supposed to be a simple task - her and Bulat cleaning the base's hallways, which shouldn't be difficult for two skilled assassins to accomplish.

Yet somehow, Sheele took it upon herself to do various chores simultaneously, be it from hurriedly collecting dust with the pan and sweeper to wildly mopping the floors and walls in various directions. She thought that by completing the task within a short amount of time, the end result would be satisfactory.

Oh, was she so wrong...

Sheele was on the floor, dampened by the cold reminder of her habitual inelegance, as well as her clothes. By contrast, a dry Bulat was on his feet, performing his duties one chore at a time. Knowing that something like this would happen, Bulat tried to put on cheerful face as he was reassuring Sheele.

"Ha, ha, ha. Don't worry about it!" he chuckled. "Just let me take care of the rest, okay?"

Distracted by self-depreciating thoughts, it took several seconds for Sheele to mutter an "okay." But it took the next few seconds to realize that Bulat was bending down, offering his hand.

"C'mon, get up. Wouldn't want to sit there forever in this condition, now would ya?" There was no malice in his words - just sincere friendliness with a bit of concern.

Slightly comforted by his generosity, Sheele took Bulat's hand as the latter pulled her up. The tall man was careful enough not to make the small woman slip from the puddle below her. But even then, his small act of kindness wasn't enough to bring Sheele out of her dismal state.

And Bulat took notice of that. "Hey, you don't have to push yourself to do everything at once," he advised. "Doing things one at a time makes life a lot easier to handle than all at once."

Sheele had no response. Her head looked down, concealing her expression. The fact that the bucket was still on her didn't help as well.

Bulat tried to overlook the peculiar object as he tried to give his advice more depth. "I mean, it's not like we're in the battlefield right now or anything like that. It makes sense when you're in dire times and have to make quick decisions that may involve some multi-tasking, but you don't have to carry this mentality outside of situations like these, ya know?"

Again, no response. Sheele kept her downward gaze to the floor, still as a statue. The only part of her that made any movement was the bucket, which lightly wobbled by its bent position.

"So, uh... try not to get too hung up over this, okay?"

"..."

Eventually, the bucket's presence made Bulat feel awkward in having to give some serious advice at a somewhat silly sight. "Um... I'll just take this," he said, and gently used his hands to remove the bucket out of Sheele's head. Even without the object, her expression was still hidden by the opaque lens in front of her eyes. "And I'll do the rest of the chores, then..." he continued, trailing his voice off. Sheele still had no response, despite Bulat's attempts to incite one out of her.

An awkward moment of silence surrounded the two for several seconds. Neither of them knew what to say or how to say it. Resigned by the overwhelming silence, Bulat went up and gathered the dust pan, sweeper, and mop (all while holding the bucket). He turned the other way to resume his cleaning duties.

The moment of silence continued for several more seconds.

And it was only after that several more seconds that Sheele broke the silence.

"I'm... I'm such an idiot, aren't I?"

Startled by the dejected tone, Bulat turned around. "Huh?"

"I can wield Extase just fine, I can cut down my enemies within a few hits, yet I can't even do something as simple as this..."

It was always like that for Sheele. Outside of assassinating foes, she never had a specialty in anything else, no matter how mundane the task might be. That one time she tried to cook meat? Burned it to a crisp and angered Akame. That one time she tried to buy salt? Bought a bucketful of sugar by mistake and was the butt of Leone's jokes. That one time she tried to do the laundry? Almost drowned Mine without realizing that she had confused her for a piece of cloth. No matter how hard Sheele tried to prevent it, her clumsiness was her bad luck, waiting at her door to strike at the right moment.

"It's okay though, because I know how all of you are painfully aware of my terrible habit. So, _so much aware_..." Sheele clenched her fists as she uttered the words, trembling burgeoning within her bones.

Bulat immediately tensed from her voice. He knew that Sheele wasn't the most cautious person around, but he had never seen her like this. Not like this at all.

"And I know it too. I know that I'm just a stupid klutz. I only kill and do nothing else after all," Sheele bitterly responded. The trembling increased with each passing word. "But I can't help it, because that's _all_ I'm ever born with."

Bulat tensed even further, eyes widening as tiny sweat drops form on his face.

"And yet, I don't even know _why_ I can't help it. Everyone else in this place is so careful at all the little things, so I wonder what do I have to do in order to..." Unable to figure out how to complete her thought, Sheele left the sentence dangling into uncertainty. "To... to..."

Seeing the bespectacled woman tremble to the point of restlessness, Bulat tried to intervene. "H-hey, wait..."

"To be honest, I don't even know why I'm doing this anyway," Sheele interjected, ignoring the man's faint plea. "It was only inevitable for me to screw it up all over again."

"Wait, Sheele-"

"That's all I ever do. I only screw up."

"Sheele-" The once helpful look on Bulat's face now transformed into full-blown concern. And once trembling increasingly, Sheele was now shaking uncontrollably.

And with the uncontrollable shaking, her voice finally cracked.

" _That's all I ever am. A stupid, worthless screw-up and nothing more._ "

With that confession out in the open, Sheele quickly loosened her fists and rose them up to her face. The palms of her hands muffled the pained wails she cried out, as well as the hot tears that trickled down her face. "I'm such a screw-up, a screw-up, a screw-up, a screw-up..." As she kept hurling the self-inflicted insults, her broken voice made them sound more disjointed with each passing blow.

Bulat panicked. Every time he saw Sheele having her clumsy episodes, all he ever got was a whine and a groan - but that's it. For a long time, he always thought that her clumsiness was a trivial flaw - a bad habit that Sheele was used to, swallowing her pride whenever she replayed the mistakes over and over again. It never occurred to Bulat that the supposedly "trivial" flaw bothered Sheele so much, she couldn't contain her woes any longer.

And how ignorant he was. If clumsiness were to somehow transport itself from Sheele to him, he probably would've ended up in her position a long time ago. To only be good at fighting and not at everything else... although Bulat loved to fight, he knew that there was more to life than just senseless violence.

And at the same time, there was more to life than just trivial carelessness.

Not wanting to see his dear friend cry her heart out, Bulat grabbed Sheele by the shoulders. "N-no, you're not like that!"

Unconvinced, Sheele kept weeping. "Yes, I am. I'm worthless..."

"No, you're not!" Bulat exclaimed.

"But I am..."

"You're not!"

"I am though..."

"Sheele, listen to me! Please listen to me!" If his worried pleas weren't enough to halt the woman from her grieving state, then shaking her in a rough manner was another way to go. It was by no means the gentlest way of comforting someone, but he did believe in the term "tough love" after all.

But shaking Sheele wasn't the only way for Bulat to get to his point. It was what he said next that drove it even further.

" _You're worth far more than what you think you are!_ "

With that admission out in the open, speechlessness completely rendered Sheele. So did the crying. She couldn't believe what she had just heard - nobody had ever told her something so bold before, not even her own comrades (though it wasn't like they didn't care for her, it was more like how they passed it off as a trivial flaw too). But somehow, his bold admission made her loud wailing substantially decrease to a small whimper.

When Sheele could no longer hide herself from Bulat, she lowered her hands from her face. Sniffling, she raised her head so that her eyes can meet his. Bulat saw the watery eyes flowing from her red face, as well as the misty glasses that slightly shrouded them.

He sighed in relief. At least she was consolable for the moment. With that in mind, he made complete sure to let her know who she really was. "Sheele, let me say this again: you're worth far more than what you think you are."

Although Sheele did not say anything, she was listening closely. There was no use in arguing with him anyways. If she believed Bulat had anything worthwhile to say, now was the time.

"Sure there are times where you slip up occasionally - and I'll be honest, some of them _do_ get out of proportions - but in the end, it's all just a quirk. No matter how small or big the quirk is, it doesn't define you completely. Besides, everyone else on this team has their own quirks in their own ways. There's Akame with her meat obsession, Mine with her really feisty temper, and then there's me showing off my incredible body..."

To his surprise, the last part caused the tear-stained woman to let out a small giggle. It was a surprise to the woman as well, for she never expected to laugh at a time like this. Seeing that small ray of happiness shine over her, the man couldn't help but smile. He was pleased that his words were starting to get to her.

"And out of all the members of Night Raid, you're the one with the kindest heart. You always treat everyone with respect, you never badmouth anyone in any way, and you're always compassionate towards the ones that hold the greatest suffering." He continued. "Like just recently, when you brought flowers to the graves of Tatsumi's friends. I'm so used to seeing people die on a regular basis that I've forgotten what it's like to honor the dead. And considering where we are right now, it's always nice to have someone remind us of how death isn't something to be brushed off so easily. Plus, it's also nice to have someone remind us of how precious life is."

Sheele was stunned. As an assassin, it was required to keep personal feelings out of the way when it came to mission-related situations. But she thought it wouldn't be a big deal when she paid her respects to the victims of horrific torture. Did she really have that effect on him?

"So please, don't ever say that you're nothing but a clumsy woman. Yes, you do have your moments, but not everyone is perfect. No one is. Not you, not me, not everyone else. That's just how the world works. In the end, what matters more is the effect of your actions. And believe me, you kindness has a far greater effect than your clumsiness. So don't you ever forget that."

The magnitude of Bulat's words took its time for Sheele to absorb what she just heard. Once the words finally settled into her, a realization slowly budded within the woman.

All this time, Sheele only defined herself by two things: a professional killer and a silly klutz. In times where she played the role as the latter, disastrous reactions would occur, whether it was Akame's silent wrath, Leone's hysterical laughter, or Mine's sheer irritation. But Bulat never reacted like that.

Instead, he saw another side of her that she undermined so much. He saw another side of her that portrayed her capabilities not just in a physical manner, but an emotional one as well.

Her kindness.

Her gentleness.

Her compassion.

 _Her heart_.

A heart of gold that she left in the cold, until a warm touch from the man had lit it up again. It was a reminder that would make the bespectacled woman learn how to appreciate herself more.

Wiping the tears from her face, Sheele gulped to clear her voice. In a meek tone, she asked, "You... you really mean it?"

Bulat gave her a thumbs up. "I mean it. You're an amazing person, and that's all that matters." The glitter in his grin also meant it as well.

Sheele smiled back, albeit far more shyly than his. Her recovering heart fluttered to know that he had such a high opinion of her. Likewise, she also viewed highly of him. _I think you're so good, and I'm nothing like you._

If only she was like him. Confident, outspoken, honest, caring. Or better yet, if only he acted like that towards her far more frequently. It was a somewhat selfish wish, but a simple one to dream.

If only.

 _If only._

* * *

END of Chapter 2.

(Fun fact: Sheele really _did_ give flowers to Sayo and Ieyasu's graves, according to Tatsumi in EP 7. Sweet of her to do so, don't you think? Also, the line " _I think you're so good, and I'm nothing like you_ ," is a shout-out to the Love Like You/Nothing Like You song from the _Steven Universe_ OST. Listening to that song, I can't help but imagine Sheele singing this to Bulat to some degree.)


	3. Reminisces, Part 3

_"You're doing great, Tatsumi!"_

A boisterous, masculine call echoed through the riverbank's surroundings, surprising Tatsumi and Sheele. Both of them recognized that voice. As Sheele kept an eye on Tatsumi's training - via having him swim underwater while wearing a suit of armor - it turned out that someone else had been keeping an eye on the rookie as well.

And quite an entrance did that someone else deliver.

 _Splash._

" _Ha, ha, ha, ha!_ "

Bursting out of the river came Bulat, proudly flexing his muscles as he showed off his bare, glistening body. By itself, it was quite a breathtaking spectacle.

Except that Tatsumi couldn't care less, for his eyes stared into the depths of pure, unadulterated apathy. He was clearly used to this by now, for the only thoughts that came to his mind were how long Bulat had been underwater and _why_ he was there in the first place. By contrast, his companion had a different reaction.

"Heh heh heh heh heh heh..."

"Huh?"

"HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"HUH?!"

To his utter shock, Tatsumi gaped at the sight of Sheele bursting out laughter, clutching her gut as she did so. He knew that no one at Night Raid was truly normal to begin with, but he always thought that Sheele was the _closest_ thing to be considered normal _at all_. To see the quiet-mannered woman laughing in such a hysterical manner, it didn't take long for him to be reminded again that Night Raid had and _will_ always be a mixed bag of oddities.

"Hey! What's so funny, huh?!" Tatsumi asked, annoyed.

Sheele took a while to regain composure before wiping away the lighthearted tears on her face. "I'm sorry, so sorry. It's just that it was all so sudden, that's all."

"Oh, didn't know that my entrance could garner such a reaction like that," said Bulat. He really hadn't planned on making someone laugh from his theatrical entrance, but it didn't bother him much; he was slightly amused, actually. At the same time though, he wondered why Tatsumi didn't go all starstruck - but that wasn't important at the moment. "So, Sheele, how's the progress coming along? You training him alright?"

Sheele nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! I'm doing the best I could!"

"That's the spirit!" Bulat slapped Tatsumi's back with enough force to make the boy jolt. "It's only a matter of time until he becomes as strong as the rest of us!"

Tatsumi, recovering from the iron-cladded pat, nervously chuckled. "Ha, ha, yeah..." He felt suspicious in where this was going.

"Of course, it's gonna take a lot more in order to to reach the skill level of _this guy_ over here!" Bulat immediately pointed to himself as he said so. Tatsumi definitely felt the fiery passion within him all right.

And his arm.

"U-uh, Bro. Bro," stuttered Tatsumi, whose face felt sweat drops upon realizing that a wet, muscular arm draped over his shoulder. "I think you're praising me a bit too much here..."

"Nonsense! It's only natural to praise someone who's been giving it his all," exclaimed Bulat, whose face wasn't that far off from Tatsumi's. It made sense since they were in close proximity towards each other, but Bulat's face was moving in close.

Too close.

" _And I mean all,_ " he added, with a tone that made Tatsumi turn white due to its abrupt suggestiveness.

"B-Bro, quit it!" Not wanting to deal with the uncomfortable proximity, Tatsumi placed a hand between their faces to space out the difference.

"Oh, come on! I'm just proud that you've come a long way, that's all!"

Meanwhile, as the two males not-so-subtly debated on their physical closeness, Sheele stood there and silently watched.

Ever since Tatsumi joined Night Raid, it was always like this.

Bulat training Tatsumi.

Bulat paying attention to Tatsumi.

Bulat showing affection to Tatsumi.

First it was Lubbock, now it was Tatsumi getting all the special treatment. And Sheele had to endure it every single day.

On one hand, Tatsumi was just a rookie, so _of course_ it made sense for Bulat to focus on him in order to help the boy succeed. On the other hand though...

"Someday you'll make a pretty fine man, you know that? A _very_ fine man, indeed..."

"Yeah, but until that day, I'm pretty fine with where I am right now! So no need to rush me here!"

All Sheele could do was just look down, trying to push their conversation to the back of her mind. It made her uncomfortable seeing Bulat all over Tatsumi, but it wasn't because of his peculiar tastes. It was more of how Tatsumi got uncomfortable as well, even though Bulat never seemed to pick up the obvious signals.

And she never understood _why_.

 _Why_ would the pompadoured man be interested in someone who had made it clear that he wasn't interested? More importantly, what did he see in him? What could he have _possibly_ seen in him?

Was it the duration the two had known each other? Which was a few weeks, at most a few months? Sheele knew the man far longer than he had known Tatsumi, that's for sure.

Was there something special about the boy? Did he have some sort of hidden talent that went beyond his abilities as a fighter? Although Sheele observed that Tatsumi had more perseverance and endurance than the typical newcomer, it was too early to tell whether or not he would make a supreme assassin.

Was it the way the boy acted? Was there a certain charm in him that drew the man's attention? One thing's for sure, Tatsumi had far more elegance than Sheele would ever have, for he was far less likely to stumble and fall compared to her.

Was it the boy's staunch idealism? That his beliefs tasted so sweet compared to the rest of the team's more bitter views? Admirable as they were, but they had no help when it came to the unforgiving battlefield.

Really, what was it? What was the reason? Sheele could think of all possible reasons, but deep down she knew that there was one answer.

One simple answer.

An answer that she would always realize, yet never come to be.

Just when Sheele was in the depths of her resigned melancholy, Tatsumi called out to her.

"Sheele, is something wrong?" While he somehow succeeded in getting a blissfully unaware Bulat to give him some space, he noticed how Sheele looked so surprisingly down. Just like how he never saw her laughing, he never saw her like this before.

Sheele jolted her face up. "Oh, uh, nothing is wrong." To ease Tatsumi's concerns, she put on a small smile. Even when she had that certain kind of thought, she couldn't hate Tatsumi. She had no reason to hold a grudge against him, especially since he was still new. She still saw him as a dear comrade.

The brown-haired boy didn't seem fully convinced, but decided not to ask any further. It didn't seem like a good opportunity to ask, especially with Bulat around.

"Well, we should head back to the base now, just in case any mission comes up," said Bulat, still brimming with liveliness as ever.

"Uh, yeah, good idea..." said Tatsumi. Hopefully after this puzzling episode, he would have some peace and quiet to think to himself just what had happened.

Sheele didn't say much, just a "hmm" and a small nod. And with that unanimous agreement, off they went.

But it wasn't like they all walked on the same side. Bulat marched in front, while Tatsumi followed right behind him. Sheele, on the other hand, trailed further back.

And as she did, she thought to herself, _You know, there are times where I do wonder._ She wondered if the man could've acted like that towards her. Wrap his arm around her, tell her that he was proud of her for overcoming the obstacles.

Tell her that he loved her.

Maybe if she had been born a man, things would have been different. Things would have definitely gone her way...

* * *

And yet, she would try to tell yourself, _Silly girl, you and your infatuation. He'll never love you back, you might as well give up now._

But even when she did, she never got over him. To her, he was a rarity. A rarity that was well within her reach, but was too far for her to touch.

And it pained her that she was never able to touch him.

But even if Sheele would never be able to touch him, she certainly wondered what it would have been like if she was strong enough to tell him how she felt.

Like if she were to say that she loved him out of the blue while she was assisting him in his exercise. Or if she were to give him a heartfelt speech of why he was such an amazing person after he comforted her from her woes. Or if she were to outright tell him that he was hitting on the wrong person and that he would be far better off moving on to someone else. And what did she hope from imagining all of this?

His reaction.

Would he react with wide eyes and a dropped jaw? Would he react with dismayed eyes and a sad frown, like he knew what he was going to say next? Or maybe he would completely turn himself away from her, trying to comprehend what he had just heard? Or maybe if she was brave enough to wrap her arms behind him, would she have gained a more definite reaction?

She wanted to know. She wanted to see. She wanted to be _absolutely sure_.

...

Well, it doesn't matter now. Alive or dead, the end result will always be rejection.

Rejection.

 _Rejection._

 _Permanent rejection_.

All Sheele could do now is to hope for Bulat to keep living on.

To keep rallying for the rebellion.

To keep striving for that goal.

To keep fighting for her.

Unbeknownst to the woman, it won't be long until he too will join her beyond this cruel world.

* * *

FIN.

(P.S. This chapter was a bit shorter than the previous two, but that's because I wanted to continue typing more AGK fanfics that I have in mind, so this had to be out of the way first.)


End file.
